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My mother is driving me nuts!!!

She called me this morning to tell me that my Gpa (who is dead) kept her up all night. Telling her how mad he is at me. That I am a horrible mom, I am selfish........and she just went on and on.

She is pissed that I am going on vacation and I don't want her to watch the boys. Sean will be at camp an Patrick will be at a sitter durning the day and at his dads at night. I told her she could have him on the weekend. But I am a terrible mom......she says I am 10x worse than she ever was. She said I should save my vacation time to have my hystorectomy (wtf I get one week a year vacation) the surgery is 6-8 weeks out.........

I don't know what to say. I just hate her some days. My thought is when I get home from vacation she wont be seeing much of the boys or me. I really just assume she was gone.



.........am I really a bad mom for going on a vacation without the boys?

Ok.........so mom is home in a wheel chair. Evidently her multible personalities have found a way to imitate (sp) strokes. So she is actually mostly ok....but she cannot walk or use her left leg and her left arm is very weak. So she has to focus on who she is and overcome the other personalities and put them back in their cages. I believe there are three others (that I am aware of). So its hard to have sympathy for her when its mostly in her head.



Work......its still there at the moment. We only have 24 closings on the calendar for July when we should have at least 60 by now. This means the boss is gonna start cutting girls.......as if we haven't already been stressed...no one is safe these days. So every Friday will be a hold your breath and hope its not you kinda day.

I can't stand living this way. I don't like the uncertainty. I just keep saying to myself......

I am very good at what I do, I am better than this and I will come out on top. ......now to covence myself......lol

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RedQueen
21:45 Jun 29 2010

I think you should find another job with more security. There is no excuse in your job making you feel like this- it is reprehensible.

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I was told mom had a minor set back today. She couldn't talk at all or move her left side. However......she is babbling a little better this evening and able to move her left arm a little bit. they did a ct on her when this happend this morning....and there was nothing there.

I hope this isn't a 'crying wolf' situation. I told her she could fess up and I wouldn't be too mad. But, its hard to be upset when I'm starting to get that feeling of 'same 'ole, same 'ole' again.

But this time they are cutting in her freaking head. I am trying to stay calm and not be mean to her.......its getting harder. Cuz you never know when it can actually be real.

Damn it

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BLOODLIFE
14:55 Jun 19 2010

If she lacks attention in life then just hold fire a lil' hun.

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Ok....mom came out ok. Sorta. They did their biopsy on her tempro artery. Now they are waiting for results to come back to see how infected/inflamed it is......so they know how to treat it. Mom was talking much better at first when she came out but then as the pain kicked in again she started studdering more. She said she woke up right before they started stitching her up....ewwwwwww and she felt it all. Ugh....

So with my mom everything is unusual.



on a side note....I have a feeling my department is on the chopping block soooon. So...its a good thing I am a woman and we are build to juggle and manage stress ha :o)

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BLOODLIFE
19:35 Jun 17 2010

Love to mum ;-)

...and if you need something else to juggle then I have something else for ya .. hehe

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Ok......so tomorrow morning I will be at the hospital with my momma. She is going under the knife. They are doing a biopsy on her tempro artery. It seems to be infected. So they need to find out what the infection is and how bad it is. Now this is not a major surgery but, it is a serious one. It really could go either way. I nearly never go to the hospital but, my gut says to be there. Even if its just for moral support and to tell her she is fine.

We shall see........

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Bijou
04:43 Jun 16 2010

you and your mom are in my thoughts ~hugs~

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ladySnowStrixx
16:46 Jun 16 2010

sorry to hear about your momma hon, hope she comes out ok.

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RedQueen
18:58 Jun 16 2010

count my prayers in sugar....

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TheeLadyHawk
13:31 Jun 17 2010

Thank you all



xoxo

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*sigh* its hard sometimes .........



I am glad to have my job but, its very shaky. The economy is slipping again and the housing market is slowing down again. Which means title companies are going to start cutting back. Oh wait they already started. They cut our pay right off the top. Our production department has been cut again lost 5 more ppl last friday. I believe they were already on a skeleton crew and now.....now the ppl left have to do three or more positions. Escrow will be next.......so every friday now we will hold our breath and hope its not us that gets the axe.

But hey, I have a job at the moment. :o)



I don't say hate lightly......but man I am hating living / working with sooo much uncertainty. My light seems to be dimming a bit.

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BLOODLIFE
20:39 Jun 15 2010

Follow my light hun, it shines for you.

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Whew.......just had a little time to catch up. The garden (s) yeah I planted three are growing like crazy. Acorn squash seem to be taking over one of my gardens......I have a garden with just tomatoes and one with squash and different types of peppers....and one with asparagus. Oh crap I have 4 gardens.....I have eggplant in another place too...lol...

Anyways, just been working and trying to keep a job. They don't pay our insurance anymore so basically we just got a pay cut.....lovely. Now I really need to find a part time job.....hahaha...and Im not sure when I would actually be able to work it. I am wondering how long I can go with not sleeping.

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BLOODLIFE
09:30 Jun 14 2010

Your health is paramount. Re-think it before you're forced to!

... but at least you wont go hungry ;-)

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